WITTA DOGS and suburban dogs in general
Today, and my moaning is monotonous, I know; the Howler did the morning shift, howling loud and long from dawn to noon, shredding the peaceful hours between ride-on roaring.
When its owner came home to an apparently silent dog, another neighbour with two yappers left for destinations unknown. The Yappers, as usual, considered that their lives were from that minute utterly desperate, informed the neighbourhood loud, long, and incessant, stimulating a few distant mates to sing the chorus.
Enough of the silent, inward moans from me.
One day, one of the houses nearby will be sold, as happens quickly in this popular spot. Sold to someone who doesn’t give a damn about neighbourly feeling, and sets about silencing the community dog-pound. With vigour and determination.
First, she will record the cacophony. Quality sound, time, duration, date, and address all meticulously formatted. The echoing early hours will be a symphonic storm of dog-yells. She will do this for a few weeks, and select the most irritating for archives.
On a bad night, she will contact the police, the local pound, and the RSPCA, leaving urgent messages, because none of those services operate after sundown, and the reason burglaries occur then.
She will repeat the calls next day, with follow-up messages by mail, email, and the multitude of electronic media now available.
She won’t give a damn about the neighbourhood, but will force signatures to a most specific document of complaint, cleverly worded, with emphasis on nuisance, noise-pollution, insomnia etc.. I’d sign it. She is also strangely attractive, and a very good talker.
Enough signatures and recordings (four rabid neglected dogs in constant chorus, 7pm to dawn: 9 hours of cacophony……..and that’s just one example from her library) will insure that the offending dogs will be silenced, humanely. Remaining alive, but voiceless, and at the owners’ expense.
Now bear in mind that right now, and for the five previous hours, as I type, two nearby Yappers plus occasional friends have been in constant row. And are yet. Not more than three seconds silence at any time for that period. And daylight is fading. It could go on all night, and has many, many times.
The sound is somehow magnified as darkness falls. The later, the louder. Pre-dawn the worst.
The woman instigating the silencing will have everyone’s support. All us weak-willed, lily-livered, afraid-to-offend wusses will serve our bold leader to achieve what we should have done years ago.
Even the owners of the most aggravating dogs will sign, ha ha, because THEY DON’T KNOW! And right now………….
…………. I await their return, and a peaceful night.
P.S. Darkness. Even the birdsong ceased. Echoing double-yapyapyapping ricochets, rending the still air.